THE CANTOS OF MVTABILITIE: Truth or Dare

Great ad, but has anybody smelled it yet?!

Fragrances I wear with brief descriptions...

Incense Fragrances:

Tauer, L'Air du Desert Marocain

(what Solomon probably wore when the Queen of Sheba visited)

Tauer, Incense Extreme (petitgrain and icy frankincense---clear but slightly ashy)

Armani, Bois d'Encens

(smells + bells)

Comme des Garcons, Incense Avignon

('Let me through, I'm the Cardinal Archbishop of Lima!')

Comme des Garcons, Incense Jaisalmer

(Indian dessert, but drier---cinnamon, cardamom, benzoin)

---L'Artisan Parfumeur, Passage d'Enfer

(the citrus-smoke note of frankincense over white lily and musk; elusive and slightly eerie)

---L'Artisan Parfumeur, Al Oudh

(frightening animalic pong, like dust, sweat and roses)

Classic Fragrances:

Chanel, Pour Monsieur

(smooth, citrusy, impeccably tasteful)

Parfums de Nicolai, New York

(one of the greatest men's fragrances ever: powdery orange-vanilla, worldly and relaxed; initially underwhelming, but oh, how it grows on you!)

Guerlain, Vetiver (woody, smoky, rooty---beautiful in a grey kind of way)

Guerlain, Mitsouko (Elgar's cello concerto in a bottle)

Guerlain, L'Heure Bleue (deliciously poignant violets-and-orange-blossom chypre)

Weird Fragrances:

Aesop, Mystra

(The Empress Theodora's underarm)

Caron, Yatagan

(sinister, faintly urinous, fearsome wormwood thing)

Tauer, Lonestar Memories

(Eau de Brokeback Mountain)

Comme des Garcons, Calamus

(cow parsley juice, freshly-cut grass, milk)

Profvmvm, Fvmidvs (gorgeous vetiver/peat/birch-tar thing---terribly butch and lovely if you want to smell exactly like Lagavulin)

Transparent Woods:

L'Artisan Parfumer, Timbuktu

(Beautiful Renaissance library which has just been set on fire)

---Dzongkha

(Chai up a mountain in Bhutan, in the snow)

Colognes:

Guerlain, Eau de Guerlain

(exquisitely well done cologne)

Dior, Dune pour Homme

(bright citrus, very clean)

Joop!, What About Adam

(fantastic, discontinued tomato leaf and grapefruit zinger)

Jo Malone, Lime, Basil, and Mandarin

(does what it says on the label, very nicely)

---Grapefruit Cologne

(lovely fresh thing, reminiscent of Joop!'s classic What About Adam, but less complex and long-lasting)

Hermès, Eau d'Orange Verte

(like driving a car over unripe oranges)

Estée

Lauder, Beyond Paradise Men

(weirdly fluorescent cologne that smells exactly like the range of colours denoted by the Gaelic word glas: grey-green, green, grey-blue, blue, blue-grey. Odd and very artificial, but nice enough.)

Florals:

Givenchy, Insensé

(cerebral, strange, complex green thing: sank like a stone when first released)

Caldey, Island Lavender

(a clifftop in west Wales on a perfect summer's day; amazingly cheap)

On the wish list:

Aesop, Marrakech

Jo Malone, Verbenas of Provence

Things I have personally worn but would never wear again:

YSL, Opium pour Homme

(oriental honk)

Dolce & Gabbana, Dolce & Gabbana pour Homme

(middle-aged and deadly dull)

Calvin Klein, cKbe

(like trying to remember a word that's on the tip of your tongue)

Tauer, Eau d'Epices

(potentially interesting woodless cinnamon and clove thing spoiled by a nasty rancid brandy-butter/embalming fluid base used also in Le Maroc pour Elle---proof even a great perfumer has off-days)

Armani, Acqua di Gio for Men

(even more boring than D&G)

Things I dislike:

Givenchy, Amarige (very skilful indeed, but 100 decibels too loud)

Dior, Poison

(armour-piercing killer tuberose)

Davidoff, Cool Water

(classic, but fetid on me)

YSL, Kouros

(unwashed teenage boy)

Thierry Mugler, Angel

(HIDEOUS fruity floral for tweenage girls)

THE CANTOS OF MVTABILITIE

Monday, 2 April 2012

Truth or Dare

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