Monday, 26 July 2010

Critical Mass



Last night, for the second time in a week, I dreamt that I was trapped in a coven of Satan-worshippers---in Margate, which is obviously the natural home for sinister occult cabals, having once given the world Tracey Emin. (Can YOU think of any other explanation?!) Anyway, Satanists seem to go in for red velour in a big way, as well as dangly chest jewellery and leatherbound books, but I was startled to find that in extremis I managed to come out with an exorcism which started with the Trinity, and went on via the Virgin Mary, John the Baptist, St Michael the Archangel ('...and all the angels and archangels'), SS Peter and Paul, Barnabas, Matthias, Stephen Protomartyr, Thecla, Perpetua, Felicity, and Catherine of Alexandria, followed by Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Therese of Lisieux ('Doctors of the Universal Church...'), Lucy, and finally Agatha, famous only for a nasty martyrdom and a nice pudding.

You can take the boy out of Catholicism, but you can't take the Catholic out of the boy...

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